What Happened

On October 16, 2018 at 6:05PM the person who I was dating informed me that we were no longer together. As horrible as the situation was, it is done and over with. I shut down, closed all of my doors, plastered a fake smile on my face, and operated my life as normally as I possibly could.

I was embarrassed and humiliated.

After four years of dating, three of which we lived together, life as I knew it was over. The final chapters were quickly approaching and the book was nearly over.

Surely those close to me are wondering where all of the details are about the breakup. The blunt and honest truth is that none of it is anyone’s business. The breakup was clean, respectful, and while there were many tears shed, we both moved on as best as we could. Neither of us did anything wrong, the relationship had just come to a close. We continue to live together until the end of our lease, we share the same bed, we still kiss each other before we go to work. Life is normal. To the outside world, we are still together but the harsh reality is that I live a lie. For many months I suffered in silence.

The truth behind this entire situation will confuse many. I expect no one to understand the situation because it is truly unique to me. However, let me make one thing very clear; I do not hate my ex. If I am not mad at him, no one around me is allowed to be mad at him.

Until recently, I remained silent about the breakup. I still believe that keeping it a secret was the best decision for my spirit and mental health. There will be many people reading this who will say “You could have come to me and I would have helped you, I would be an open ear.” What they fail to realize is that I am well aware that I have people who will listen, I purposely chose not to disclose my situation. It is never a question of who will listen, it’s a matter of who I want to listen. In this particular instance, I needed to listen to myself first before I could have others listen. I did all of this for the sake of my own mental health and wellbeing. For anyone who feels saddened, hurt, or let down that I didn’t contact them, I say this; If your first reaction to this is your own emotions, then you are truly not in a place to listen to my story.

Each time I had to explain the story to someone new, it was always exhausting. People have so many questions about the breakup. They have so many questions about my ex and they also express their own negative emotions towards my ex. (Even though they shouldn’t have any negative emotions towards my ex, because I still love my ex.) My hope is that this post will shed some light on the situation and will serve enough information for those reading. Don’t ask me questions, don’t ask my ex questions. Leave us alone, let us live our lives, our business is not your business. Even if you do know details, none of them are yours for sharing. If you share details out all you’re doing is spreading rumors and you’re a shit person who deserves everything Karma has in store for you. If you’re that person, you’re not a friend, you’re trash.